The Important Questions: Who? And What?

Last week I had the great pleasure of attending one of my very favorite events: the Minneapolis/St. Paul Business Journal’s “40 Under 40” Awards. So many amazing, talented people, and the room was filled with friends and colleagues who were amazingly enthusiastic in their celebrations! I was with the Ramsey County group celebrating Kari Collins, the county’s Community and Economic Development Director. Take a look at the list. and pause for a moment to share your own congratulations with at least one honoree. I know they’ll appreciate it. As I think about the future before us, people like these 40 will be ushering it in. We would do well to support their development!
 
Let’s get back to Bud and Tom! This week I’m catching up on Tom and all he’s learning, as I continue reading Leadership and Self-Deception. It’s been since Feb 20 that we last talked about Tom and all he’s learning from his boss, Bud. Bud had given Tom a challenge to think about the people he works with, to determine whether he is in or out of the box toward them.
 
Ultimately, as it relates to being “in the box” or “out of the box” in my engagement with another person, I have two questions: “Who?” and “What?”
 
The first question is WHO am I focusing on?

• In the box I’m focused on me. I want feedback or results that amplify my own thinking, sustain my own stellar reputation, somehow agree with my worldview.  And how does that show up? I certainly don’t listen very well. I could find myself comparing my performance to others’. I may seek out others to agree with me, withhold information from team members, gossip, tear others down. I may drag my feet in support of certain team members because, of course, “they don’t deserve it.”  When I submit to “in the box” thinking, my growth stops.
  
  
• Out of the box I’m focused on the other person. What can he/she teach me to expand my understanding of the situation, even when we disagree? When I am enforcing a standard or even coaching a team member, I can be clear while still investing in that person’s growth. I can build up rather than tear down.

 
The second question is WHAT am I focusing on?

• In the box I’m focused on self-justification.  Results are important only in so far as they amplify my “rightness.” And that is very often at odds with what is best for our organization.
• Out of the box I’m focused on results that amplify the organization’s priorities and mission.

 
A lighthearted example of how these two questions can manifest happened in advance of our Annual Meeting this year. Over the course of a year I spend a lot of time listening to members and reflecting on themes I hear as well as determining priorities for navigating the future ahead of us.  As our Annual Meeting approached, I met regularly with a small group of my senior team leaders on logistics for the event. At this particular meeting, one of our last, we were reviewing my proposed comments.  I liked my comments. I thought they were terrific. No edits needed, thank you very much. What did my team think? Simply put, it was too long. Unnecessarily so. But they weren’t quite sure how I’d respond to constructive feedback – because I was feeling protective.
 
Well. In that moment I had two choices: I could focus on my own “rightness,” my own sense of things. Which is what I wanted to do. Because, as I’ve said, I liked my words. OR I could focus on results. In order to focus on results, I had to listen to my team’s input. And they had to trust that there wouldn’t be repercussions for speaking their truth to me. I can tell you that their feedback was exactly right.  Instead of one person’s idea of the message, we wound up with the combined input of 6 people. And we were better for it. I had to release my need to be right in order to be open to what I ultimately want – better results.  Was a very powerful exercise of trust and outcomes.
 
I submit to you that I my dilemma is not uncommon. Every organization struggles with this to one degree or another. And we don’t need to wait for other people to change for us to do this deep work for ourselves.
 
See you in the trenches,

B