Minnesota’s 2024 legislative session started last week. Bill introductions are moving fast again this year. I hope you’ll follow our Advocacy News to keep abreast of the issues your Chamber is tracking. You can subscribe HERE. Also last week, we participated in the 2nd annual Black Entrepreneurs Day at the Capitol. The rotunda was full of more than 200 people, who rallied together and then prepared to speak directly with legislators. Organizer Sheletta Brundidge also invited other speakers to lend their voice. I was impressed by the potency in the room, both in terms of the number of people and the energy they brought to the moment. A takeaway for me came from one of the speakers: “people show up participate, make demands of their legislators. On Black Entrepreneurs Day, we want to amplify that ‘we the people’ means everyone.”
 
Week 3 of Leadership and Self-Deception:  “The Deep Choice That Determines Influence.” More on this idea of operating “outside the box,” seeing our colleagues and team members as individuals, not just objects or numbers. One of Tom's team members had done something wrong, and he’d corrected her. But he’d done so with arrogance and dismissiveness. The right thing in the wrong way. “People primarily respond not to what we do but to how we’re being – whether we’re in or out of the box toward them.” Tom asks a questions I’ve wondered too: “how can you conduct a business seeing others as people all the time? Won’t you get run over doing that?... Isn’t it a bit unrealistic to think that you have to be that way at work, when you’ve got to be fast and decisive?”
 
The key: if we are dealing with a team member on a hard issue, how we handle the situation and the person matters. If I’m “in the box,” seeing her as an object or as less important than I am, the real question is: after the correction, have I invited her to be more enthusiastic and creative about her work or less? Tom needs to figure out how to uphold standards and expectations while also being “out of the box,” seeing others as humans, and addressing them as equally valuable. Absent that, he may solve the immediate problem but create others in its wake.
 
Being “out of the box” doesn’t make me soft . Being “in the box” doesn’t make me decisive or tough. It goes beyond behavior, to the being of a person. The approach. The mindset. “Ultimately, we can be tough and invite productivity and commitment, or we can be tough and invite resistance and ill will. The choice isn’t to be tough or not, it’s to be in the box or not.”
 
There’s something deeper than behavior that determines our influence on others – it’s whether we’re in or out of the box. When I’m in the box my view of reality is distorted – I see neither myself nor others clearly. I am self-deceived. And that creates all kinds of trouble for the people around me.
 
Bud then gave Tom a challenge that I’m taking on as well: “think about the people you work with and ask yourself whether you’re in or out of the box toward them. And don’t lump the people into an impersonal mass. Think of the individuals. You may be in the box toward one person and out of the box toward another at the same time.”
 
What we do with that exercise I’ll share next time!
 
 
See you in the trenches,

​B

Last night was the MN Chamber’s annual Chamber Priorities Dinner. We had a table with fabulous guests, and the room was packed. Doug Loon laid out his priorities for this year’s session, which include improvements to Minnesota’s permitting process, no additional taxes, as well as a more balanced approach to employment related policy (workplace mandates). The takeaway comments for me came from an unlikely source – Kirk Cousins, Minnesota Vikings quarterback. He said, “commerce is the engine of society.” I couldn’t agree more. And we want to do all we can to support the growth of commerce. In the words of one of our upcoming Annual Meeting keynote speakers, Senator Norm Coleman, “the best thing we can do for families and our state overall is to ensure everyone has the opportunity for a good paying job.”
 
Week 2 of Leadership and Self-Deception:  “Getting Out of the Box.” The question this week:  Do I actually provoke people to resist me?  When I’m trying to work with a “difficult” person, when I go out of my way to try to connect with this person, what am I most interested in – her or her opinion of me?
 
Bud and Tom are continuing in their discussion of self-deception, about the importance of sincerity. The principle here is that leaders who are “in the box” create or exacerbate problems by trying to manipulate others. My motivation comes through regardless of my words. Others sense how I really feel about them and respond in ways that may be the opposite of what I want.
 
Bus talks about one leader, Lou, who inspires devotion and commitment in others, even though he is interpersonally clumsy. People love working with him and they get results.
 
“Then we have Chuck, who has a very different influence. Though he does all the ‘right’ things interpersonally, even if he applies the latest skills and techniques to their communication style, it doesn’t matter. People ultimately resent him and his tactics. And so he ends up failing as a leader – failing because he provokes people to resist him.”
 
Pause…I’ve done that. I’ve all the said right things to someone all while thinking all the wrong things…
 
People recognize and resent insincerity and manipulation. I sometimes think this is instinctual. We can “feel” it. And it doesn’t matter what management technique I use—managing by walking around, practicing active listening, or showing interest by asking personal questions. People pick up on and respond to the feelings behind my actions
.
Self-deceived leaders who try to manipulate others provoke them to resist. In contrast, an out-of-the-box leader knows “how much smarter smart people are, how much more skilled skilled people get, and how much harder hardworking people work when they see, and are seen, straightforwardly – as people.”
 
Powerful!
 
 
See you in the trenches,

​B

It’s that time again! Our Annual Meeting, Presented by Xcel Energy, is fast approaching, on Feb 29 this year!  Our theme this year is Building a New Table (register HERE), and we’ve invited powerful speakers to talk about that together: Tonya Allen, President of the McKnight Foundation; Ling Becker, Director of Ramsey County’s Workforce Solutions; and Senator Norm Coleman, former St. Paul Mayor. Employers are facing a very complex political, economic, and workforce landscape. Our intent is to discuss how we navigate moving forward.  

This is our most important event of the year. It highlights the Chamber’s priorities and sets the stage for our work ahead. It’s also the best opportunity to network with other Chamber members and make new connections. And, of course, it’s a fun and festive event!  I’m really hoping you’ll come, bring a friend we haven’t met yet!

My thoughts for this week’s blog extend to my own growth moving forward. This past week I spoke with a professional coach. A good friend of mine had recommended a woman she’s worked with and, since I deeply respect my friend and how she carries herself, I was hoping that I could learn some things as well.

You see, I feel like this next season of leadership will require even more of me as well, and I need some outside help to be better prepared. For me and, candidly, for you. The issue I want to lean into? Self deception. I want to check myself, determine just how much of an “echo chamber” I’m living in. In a nutshell, self-deception can either obscure certain truths about myself (that I might not see) or potentially corrupt my view of others (so that I won’t listen to them? Acknowledge their truth?). It can inhibit my ability to make wise and helpful decisions. I believe that, to the extent that I am self-deceived, both my happiness and my leadership are undermined.

And so, I made the call. This coach and I had a lovely first conversation (I bet they’ll get tougher). She recommended that I read a book and then we’ll get together for a “session” to review. She’ll also have some coaching tools for me regarding how to better handle hard conversations to ensure they remain productive (and not contentious).

I’ll take you through my journey this year. My goal? I want to reduce feelings of conflict, enliven my own desire and capacity for teamwork, redouble my own accountability, and amplify our ability to achieve results together.

The first book I’m reading: “Leadership and Self-Deception, Getting Out of the Box” by The Arbinger Institute.

This week I’ll share where I start, and the first couple of chapters.

In my own terms, self-deception is my blind spot. “What am I missing?” I usually am able to build strong, productive relationships with people I work with, but not always. To the extent that I can grow and change, to improve that, I want to.

The book starts with a story of an executive, Tom, in a new company.  His boss, Bud, is taking him on this learning journey of self-deception.  Bud starts asking questions intended to open Tom’s eyes to the idea that he, like all of us, struggles with self-deception. He just doesn’t know it (!!).

Story or not, I saw myself in Tom and was feeling pinched myself.  The first zingers: “Do you indulge people with kindness and other ‘soft stuff’ you can think of in order to get people to do what you want? Even though you still feel scornful toward them?”  And then, “how do you feel when you’re ‘treating them right’? Are you still feeling they’re a problem?” And finally, “do you feel that you have to ‘put up with’ people - that you have to work pretty hard to succeed when you’re stuck with some of the people you’re stuck with?” Ouch.

After a long conversation together, laying out examples of how self-deception interferes with productive relationships, Bud concluded: “there’s nothing more common in organizations than self-deception.” He calls it being ‘in the box.’ “Think about a person from your work experience who’s a big problem - say, someone who’s been a major impediment in teamwork. Does the person you’re thinking of believe he’s the problem like you believe he is?”  “Identify someone with a problem, and you’ll be identifying someone who resists the suggestion that he has one. That’s self-deception - the problem of not knowing and resisting the possibility that one has a problem.”

“Of all the problems in organizations, self-deception is the most common and the most damaging. Think about it, Tom. You can’t make headway solving problems if the people causing the problems refuse to consider how they might be responsible. Our top strategic initiative is to minimize individual and organizational self-deception.”

Of course, the “people causing the problems” just may be me. Hmm.

Enough for today. I have to step away, do some vacuuming, to process all this.
 
See you in the trenches,

​B