Getting Out of the Box

Last night was the MN Chamber’s annual Chamber Priorities Dinner. We had a table with fabulous guests, and the room was packed. Doug Loon laid out his priorities for this year’s session, which include improvements to Minnesota’s permitting process, no additional taxes, as well as a more balanced approach to employment related policy (workplace mandates). The takeaway comments for me came from an unlikely source – Kirk Cousins, Minnesota Vikings quarterback. He said, “commerce is the engine of society.” I couldn’t agree more. And we want to do all we can to support the growth of commerce. In the words of one of our upcoming Annual Meeting keynote speakers, Senator Norm Coleman, “the best thing we can do for families and our state overall is to ensure everyone has the opportunity for a good paying job.”
 
Week 2 of Leadership and Self-Deception:  “Getting Out of the Box.” The question this week:  Do I actually provoke people to resist me?  When I’m trying to work with a “difficult” person, when I go out of my way to try to connect with this person, what am I most interested in – her or her opinion of me?
 
Bud and Tom are continuing in their discussion of self-deception, about the importance of sincerity. The principle here is that leaders who are “in the box” create or exacerbate problems by trying to manipulate others. My motivation comes through regardless of my words. Others sense how I really feel about them and respond in ways that may be the opposite of what I want.
 
Bus talks about one leader, Lou, who inspires devotion and commitment in others, even though he is interpersonally clumsy. People love working with him and they get results.
 
“Then we have Chuck, who has a very different influence. Though he does all the ‘right’ things interpersonally, even if he applies the latest skills and techniques to their communication style, it doesn’t matter. People ultimately resent him and his tactics. And so he ends up failing as a leader – failing because he provokes people to resist him.”
 
Pause…I’ve done that. I’ve all the said right things to someone all while thinking all the wrong things…
 
People recognize and resent insincerity and manipulation. I sometimes think this is instinctual. We can “feel” it. And it doesn’t matter what management technique I use—managing by walking around, practicing active listening, or showing interest by asking personal questions. People pick up on and respond to the feelings behind my actions
.
Self-deceived leaders who try to manipulate others provoke them to resist. In contrast, an out-of-the-box leader knows “how much smarter smart people are, how much more skilled skilled people get, and how much harder hardworking people work when they see, and are seen, straightforwardly – as people.”
 
Powerful!
 
 
See you in the trenches,

​B