The 4 Agreements

I’ve been thinking about corporate citizenship. You know, the social responsibility of businesses and the extent to which they commit to – and execute on – certain priorities. Last week I joined Wells Fargo in celebration of their new HOPE Inside Center, in collaboration with Operation HOPE, at their Prosperity branch. This is but one expression of Wells Fargo’s focus on economic inclusion, helpful financial tips, and the real impacts of financial education on our community. The big picture of Operation HOPE is “to make free enterprise and capitalism work for the underserved, thereby disrupting poverty and empowering economic inclusion for millions of low- and moderate-income youth and adults across the nation.” On the ground, they’re specifically providing free financial education to raise credit scores. There is a significant correlative relationship between credit scores and income, home ownership, even life expectancy.  Learn more – I’m impressed.  

This past week I also was reminded – twice! - of important lessons I’d learned years ago. That, clearly, I’d forgotten. You see, I’ve been wrestling with this notion of how to disagree on issues while still holding onto relationships. And 2 people I consider mentors reminded me of the book, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom. Have you read it? This book changed my thinking about how to negotiate. And I’d like to share with you what I’ve been reminded of.
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This book is short, an easy read. The Four Agreements are a set of principles from the book by the same name, by Don Miguel Ruiz.  Its goal is to help people achieve peace, happiness, love in relationships and life. I have found these Agreements to be tremendously helpful in business negotiation as well. As Ruiz says, “everything we do is based on agreements we have made – agreements with other people, with God, and with life. But the most important agreements are the ones we make with ourselves.”

1. Be impeccable with your word: speak with integrity, say only what you mean, and avoid gossiping or speaking against yourself.
2. Don’t take anything personally: be aware of the self-limiting beliefs that hold you back.
3. Don’t make assumptions: be aware of the fog in your mind.
4. Always do your best: give your best effort every day, even when you’re not feeling great.

It takes courage to be impeccable with my word, even when doing so might make me feel uncomfortable. It also takes courage to stop taking things personally – when an issue comes up, or when I disagree with someone, it’s not about me. And if I’m going to make assumptions, I always assume goodwill. Finally, I commit to doing my best. And part of that best is that “being impeccable” and “not taking things personally” commitment.

Good reminder, yes?

See you in the trenches,

B