Leadership and Self-Deception – Getting Out of the Box

Summer adventures are upon us! And it’s the best time of the year to gather together. So I’ll start out my comments this week by highlighting some fun events ahead! The Young Professionals are heading to a Saints game Tuesday night; this month’s Chamber Connect: Pride Month Edition, is over at Urban Growler. Our Equity Leadership Series event this Friday take participants to “Kumbayah, the Juneteenth Story” performance. And, of course, our Golf Classic at North Oaks is July 8, right after a holiday weekend (we have only a couple foursomes left). Pick an event (or two!) to gather together, build a new connection, learn something new from the experience. That’s what we do best together!

It’s been since March that I last updated you on my learning from Bud and Tom, how self-deception interrupts healthy relationships and results-oriented leadership. Though I’ve been talking with you about so many other important things in the meantime, in my quiet time I’ve continued to read and reflect. As a quick reminder, I started this journey in February as we were preparing for our Annual Meeting. I’ve been feeling like this next season of leadership will require more of us, more of me. I sought some help from a professional coach to get started. And so began the journey of reading this book, and sharing some of my learning with you.

This week’s comments will wrap up the book, though I intend to continue working on this as we move forward together.
The fundamental question, of course, is:  how do I get out of the box?  Lots of thoughts about that.  Let’s start with what doesn’t work.

What doesn’t work is to focus on changing others, deciding to “put up with” others, implementing a new skill/technique/process/procedure, or simply walking away. None of these get to the core of the issue.  The key to leading without lying to myself is to focus on results for our organization, and then actually SEE the people around me, acknowledge their talents, empower them, and ultimately hold them accountable.

What does work?

• DON’T try to be perfect; DO try to be better.
• DON’T talk about “the box.” Doesn’t make sense to everyone; DO use the principles in your own life.
• DON’T focus on what others are doing wrong; DO focus on what you can do right to help.
• DON’T give up on yourself; DO keep trying.
• DON’T worry whether others are helping you; DO worry whether you are helping others.

Something I highlighted in the book and will take with me:  “When you’re in the box, people follow you, if at all, only through force or threat of force. But that’s not leadership. That’s coercion. The leaders people choose to follow are those who are out of the box.” Our job is to create leaders within others.

See you in the trenches,

B